Out behind my house there is a small wooded area. I don't often go there. I peer at it from my bedroom window on rainy days and give it a passing glance when I take out the trash. But, it stays largely ignored by me.
Now it is summertime and that means the air is always sticky sweet and the nights are the only time I can bear to be outside for very long. I have always loved summer nights, despite my general distaste for summer days and always coming back itching and sweating. There is something about a summer night which seems pregnant with magic.
When it gets to be dark, I stand under the car port I am supposed to park in, but never do and watch the fireflies dance. I don't think about spiders or scorpions or itching or sweating. I just watch the hundreds of fireflies dance in the field and in the trees. There is a simple magic to it.
If I were able to make a pill out of fireflies in open fields on summer nights, it would remedy panic attacks, existential crises and broken hearts.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
A little weird.
I sit at work all day long, all week long, answering questions, calming people down, lifting people up, making sure my manner in phone, e-mail, and person are all professional.
And sometimes I just want to burst out.
Whether in song, movie/tv quote, sound, or what not. It's hard to be not weird for 40 hours a week. (Or less weird, I don't hide it well).
I feel like I haven't written in ages. My fingers are starting rust and my heart is getting lethargic. How can I go so long? And will the times between get longer and longer and...
No.
I just can't think that way. I'm re-learning walking and talking and singing. A few weeks ago, no, more than that, I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. And she used to laugh sometimes at me, when I was younger, and I'd ask why and she'd say, "Because you're wobbling." She meant it metaphorically, of course. I was 18/19 and she was 21/22. I was wobbling. And when I saw her again she said, "You're still the same, only you wobble a little less."
And maybe I do. At least, I hope I've learned a thing or two in these past few years. Grown a little. Stretched my legs, built some muscle. I don't know. But, now I'm a real adult. And I'm wobbling again.
Well, at least no one accuses me of waddling.
And sometimes I just want to burst out.
Whether in song, movie/tv quote, sound, or what not. It's hard to be not weird for 40 hours a week. (Or less weird, I don't hide it well).
I feel like I haven't written in ages. My fingers are starting rust and my heart is getting lethargic. How can I go so long? And will the times between get longer and longer and...
No.
I just can't think that way. I'm re-learning walking and talking and singing. A few weeks ago, no, more than that, I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. And she used to laugh sometimes at me, when I was younger, and I'd ask why and she'd say, "Because you're wobbling." She meant it metaphorically, of course. I was 18/19 and she was 21/22. I was wobbling. And when I saw her again she said, "You're still the same, only you wobble a little less."
And maybe I do. At least, I hope I've learned a thing or two in these past few years. Grown a little. Stretched my legs, built some muscle. I don't know. But, now I'm a real adult. And I'm wobbling again.
Well, at least no one accuses me of waddling.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Fast-Paced. Slow-Paced.
It has been over a month since I last updated. I can hardly keep up. New job, back to OKC, transitions at work, life feels a little more than a little overwhelming.
The other day I wrote a fake love letter. It was to help somebody with some project, that is irrelevant. But, it stirred something inside of me. A passion. A creative force. An ache in my finger tips for a pen. Memories of days when I could spend all sorts of time writing and daydreaming. I don't want to say those days are over, but life sure does change.
I feel, despite the weariness in my shoulders, extraordinairly blessed. To have employment and a city that feels like home. To have friends who love me so generously through all the odd times in my life. That is something to remember when I start to feel achy and homeless. I am full of home. I am just a little derooted right now.
But, even that is not true. Shaken, yes, the last year...the last two years were hardly what I expected. They definitely were not what I thought I wanted. But, slowly I am learning how expectations are too often unmet and what we think we want is laughable. And even more slowly I am learning that is not a bad thing.
My life is fast-paced.
My heart is not.
The other day I wrote a fake love letter. It was to help somebody with some project, that is irrelevant. But, it stirred something inside of me. A passion. A creative force. An ache in my finger tips for a pen. Memories of days when I could spend all sorts of time writing and daydreaming. I don't want to say those days are over, but life sure does change.
I feel, despite the weariness in my shoulders, extraordinairly blessed. To have employment and a city that feels like home. To have friends who love me so generously through all the odd times in my life. That is something to remember when I start to feel achy and homeless. I am full of home. I am just a little derooted right now.
But, even that is not true. Shaken, yes, the last year...the last two years were hardly what I expected. They definitely were not what I thought I wanted. But, slowly I am learning how expectations are too often unmet and what we think we want is laughable. And even more slowly I am learning that is not a bad thing.
My life is fast-paced.
My heart is not.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sometimes it's best just to go to bed.
I have spent the past few weeks immersed with family. This has been lovely and whole for me. But, sometimes I'm just ready for a moment or two of quiet. Of thoughtfulness and daydreaming all to myself.
And so I have begun to stay up late. I like the quiet that nighttime provides. It's like mornings, but with a touch of sadness. This is sometimes good for the heart, sometimes bad for the mind, but either way, it's the way of life right now.
My life is more like a whisper right now. It's been a roar, a murmur, silent, well-modulated, and many things in between. But, right now, it's just a whisper. Sometimes, I worry my friends won't understand. I don't call much because I don't have much to say, and hardly ever talk to just hear my own voice anymore. When they call, I listen, but I have some sort of psychological amnesia when it comes my turn to speak. I hope they know how much I love them. How much I miss them. And how this isn't radio silence, just some quiet static. I'll find some louder words soon.
I'm not ready for Spring, not really. I love the warm sun on my skin, but my eyes are still squinting, and my heart too. Fortunately and unfortunately, Spring comes without concern of anyone's readiness.
I will try to be better.
I will welcome Spring.
I will whisper for a while longer.
And so I have begun to stay up late. I like the quiet that nighttime provides. It's like mornings, but with a touch of sadness. This is sometimes good for the heart, sometimes bad for the mind, but either way, it's the way of life right now.
My life is more like a whisper right now. It's been a roar, a murmur, silent, well-modulated, and many things in between. But, right now, it's just a whisper. Sometimes, I worry my friends won't understand. I don't call much because I don't have much to say, and hardly ever talk to just hear my own voice anymore. When they call, I listen, but I have some sort of psychological amnesia when it comes my turn to speak. I hope they know how much I love them. How much I miss them. And how this isn't radio silence, just some quiet static. I'll find some louder words soon.
I'm not ready for Spring, not really. I love the warm sun on my skin, but my eyes are still squinting, and my heart too. Fortunately and unfortunately, Spring comes without concern of anyone's readiness.
I will try to be better.
I will welcome Spring.
I will whisper for a while longer.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Lately, a series of pictures.
Sometimes, I play this game with Ashley where I pretend like I'm the paparazzi. Which may seem strange, but considering the fake will we wrote for her two weeks ago, maybe not.
Lots of mail.
Chick-fil-a, you are growing on me.
Car pics.
What a pretty little sister.
Craft time.
Birthday time.
Sister.
Done. (And covered in paint).
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A Few Thoughts on Crying...
You know, most of the time, when I feel like crying, no matter the reason, I take a big breath of air and swallow it down. It's probably because like Heather says, no one likes to cry outwardly, and probably because it's turned into more of a reflex than a thought about why I may or may not want to cry.
And so, when I see a preview that reminds me of how hard it is to be alive, especially on a day where I have to keep reminding myself to trust the slow work of God, the tears tempt my eyes. And for some reason, I let them go. And I remember it feels good. And I feel connected because it is so hard for us all.
And then I think. Maybe, I should cry more.
And so, when I see a preview that reminds me of how hard it is to be alive, especially on a day where I have to keep reminding myself to trust the slow work of God, the tears tempt my eyes. And for some reason, I let them go. And I remember it feels good. And I feel connected because it is so hard for us all.
And then I think. Maybe, I should cry more.
Monday, January 25, 2010
A Smile Away From Eternity
That's the name of the playlist I'm listening to right now. I've been writing emails, chatting on Facebook, reading old emails, and generally encouraging the sort of nostalgic melancholy that all of those things do.
But, whether or not the minor tonality in the music I'm listening to is the reason for my fingers itch to write, or the deep weariness in my soul, I'll never know. It's 1:33 in the morning, no one knows anything at 1:33 in the morning.
But, I can't help to think of lost friendships and Lauren Winner. I can't help to think of the way a friend help me grieve the loss of another friend only to be the next friend I lost. Maybe it's poetic, but mostly it's sort of heartbreaking.
I don't mean to seem overwrought. I try to avoid overwrought. It sounds to self-indulgent, melodramatic, and heaven forbid, Southern. But, sometimes I am all of those things despite any color I dye my hair, paint my nails, or ideas I fill my head with.
I wish there was a better way to grieve the loss of a friend. Sometimes, I think it would be easier if they died, or if it was a boyfriend who broke my heart. We have a context for that. We have a language. We have a list of things we do or don't. I don't, of course, wish anyone dead, I'm only saying, the emptiness in my heart where these people, once dear, used to reside, now just feels cold, and sometimes, on really hard days, the wind blows through it, making the noise that's slightly creepy and I think about how nice it would be to just reach out and touch someone's arm. That's what I always want when I get scared. Just to touch someone's arm. Just to remember that I am not alone. Just for someone to show up.
I don't mean to sound depressed. I don't feel depressed. I don't even feel overwrought. I mostly just feel weary and think about how so many times in life we just seem to be running aroun like crazy people trying to touch someone's arm because we're scared and fragile and broken. And there's all those people we've lost and the whooshing sound of the wind in the empty spaces. If our hearts were memory foam, they would take their originial shape right back, but no. People whose absences leave that hollow wind sound leave imprints more like in wet cement. But, they always let it dry before they go. And I don't mean to say that our hearts become hard like cement, though they can, just that it's always there. Even if you can walk on the sidewalk and never miss a step because of some small handprint, it's still there. And it always will be.
And maybe that's not so bad. Maybe if it went away we'd forget everything. The good parts of who they were too, because they meant something once. And maybe we would forget that even though we're sort of fragile and scared and broken we can still make it through something hard and be ok. Maybe that's enough to make us one day look back and even smile a little.
It's only 12 days until my birthday. I'll be 23. I always love birthdays. They feel fresh. And maybe I'll celebrate with different people, but that will be ok too because I will grow and be different and it will be ok. I will look at all of my friends, the ones that saw me turn 22, the ones that didn't. The one's that have been watching me get older for a while now, and I will say a prayer of thanks for all of them. I will even allow some of them to come into the wet cement parts of my heart. Maybe I will make my heart less like a forgotten sidewalk scattered with people's markings when they thought no one was looking, and more like Grauman's Chinese Theater where the people whose handprints left are really something. And even if they flop afterwards, well, they were really something.
Loves.
P.S. I did all that work on that video. You should still watch it.
But, whether or not the minor tonality in the music I'm listening to is the reason for my fingers itch to write, or the deep weariness in my soul, I'll never know. It's 1:33 in the morning, no one knows anything at 1:33 in the morning.
But, I can't help to think of lost friendships and Lauren Winner. I can't help to think of the way a friend help me grieve the loss of another friend only to be the next friend I lost. Maybe it's poetic, but mostly it's sort of heartbreaking.
I don't mean to seem overwrought. I try to avoid overwrought. It sounds to self-indulgent, melodramatic, and heaven forbid, Southern. But, sometimes I am all of those things despite any color I dye my hair, paint my nails, or ideas I fill my head with.
I wish there was a better way to grieve the loss of a friend. Sometimes, I think it would be easier if they died, or if it was a boyfriend who broke my heart. We have a context for that. We have a language. We have a list of things we do or don't. I don't, of course, wish anyone dead, I'm only saying, the emptiness in my heart where these people, once dear, used to reside, now just feels cold, and sometimes, on really hard days, the wind blows through it, making the noise that's slightly creepy and I think about how nice it would be to just reach out and touch someone's arm. That's what I always want when I get scared. Just to touch someone's arm. Just to remember that I am not alone. Just for someone to show up.
I don't mean to sound depressed. I don't feel depressed. I don't even feel overwrought. I mostly just feel weary and think about how so many times in life we just seem to be running aroun like crazy people trying to touch someone's arm because we're scared and fragile and broken. And there's all those people we've lost and the whooshing sound of the wind in the empty spaces. If our hearts were memory foam, they would take their originial shape right back, but no. People whose absences leave that hollow wind sound leave imprints more like in wet cement. But, they always let it dry before they go. And I don't mean to say that our hearts become hard like cement, though they can, just that it's always there. Even if you can walk on the sidewalk and never miss a step because of some small handprint, it's still there. And it always will be.
And maybe that's not so bad. Maybe if it went away we'd forget everything. The good parts of who they were too, because they meant something once. And maybe we would forget that even though we're sort of fragile and scared and broken we can still make it through something hard and be ok. Maybe that's enough to make us one day look back and even smile a little.
It's only 12 days until my birthday. I'll be 23. I always love birthdays. They feel fresh. And maybe I'll celebrate with different people, but that will be ok too because I will grow and be different and it will be ok. I will look at all of my friends, the ones that saw me turn 22, the ones that didn't. The one's that have been watching me get older for a while now, and I will say a prayer of thanks for all of them. I will even allow some of them to come into the wet cement parts of my heart. Maybe I will make my heart less like a forgotten sidewalk scattered with people's markings when they thought no one was looking, and more like Grauman's Chinese Theater where the people whose handprints left are really something. And even if they flop afterwards, well, they were really something.
Loves.
P.S. I did all that work on that video. You should still watch it.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Keeping my promise...
Although horribly late.
I know, I've been an awful blogger lately. What can I say? Excpet, man, life has been running fast, and I've been praying hard and trying not to worry and get some sleep. So, remember about three blog years ago (or 2 real life weeks) when I promised a video blog. Here it is. It's a response to Sarah's 10 things that make you happy. Well, here it is, video style. So, if you have a spare 7:39 minutes, sit back, grab some popcorn, and watch the vid. And hopefully I'll be back soon with some real news. Loves to all.
I know, I've been an awful blogger lately. What can I say? Excpet, man, life has been running fast, and I've been praying hard and trying not to worry and get some sleep. So, remember about three blog years ago (or 2 real life weeks) when I promised a video blog. Here it is. It's a response to Sarah's 10 things that make you happy. Well, here it is, video style. So, if you have a spare 7:39 minutes, sit back, grab some popcorn, and watch the vid. And hopefully I'll be back soon with some real news. Loves to all.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I've been telling myself all week...
That I'd update my blog.
But, instead, I've researched the emerging church, personality disorders, the history of the railway, Lost, non-Catholic convents, Two Guys and a Girl, looked for jobs, journaled, read, watched Bones, got mom hooked on Twilight, and done countless other things that weren't updating my blog.
But, that's life, mes petites choux.
And, to make it up to all of you, soon (which probably, but doesn't definititely means tomorrow) I will make a video update. Yes, you heard right, the first ever. Because I got a webcam to skype. Which is a fantastic word you can make loads of jokes with.
Anyway, until then, I hope you're having a lovely day.
But, instead, I've researched the emerging church, personality disorders, the history of the railway, Lost, non-Catholic convents, Two Guys and a Girl, looked for jobs, journaled, read, watched Bones, got mom hooked on Twilight, and done countless other things that weren't updating my blog.
But, that's life, mes petites choux.
And, to make it up to all of you, soon (which probably, but doesn't definititely means tomorrow) I will make a video update. Yes, you heard right, the first ever. Because I got a webcam to skype. Which is a fantastic word you can make loads of jokes with.
Anyway, until then, I hope you're having a lovely day.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A lot of things that are most likely unrelated.
Or, just an excuse to write a blog.
1. Mom, sister little, and I spent the whole day in our pjs, not showering, and watching Mad Men. There is something utterly mesmerizing about it. I mean, man, they smoke and drink hard liquor like it's going out of style, but the way they dress, the way they live...everything seems so glamorous and so broken all at once. Needless to say, it's almost 6 and I have just taken a shower.
2. I am obsessed with the Scene It game on facebook. Make a cute avatar, buy fake things, take movie trivia quizzes? Yes, please!
3. Next time I have a room I can paint, I think I'm going to paint it purple. Trust me. I had a vision last night. It will look divine.
4. I miss having my own house.
5. I like winter so much. I think it's a very under appreciated. But, there is this barren beauty to it. So, quiet and raw. I am in love with it. So, the fact that it is snowing outside and the sky is that winter snow grey...that just makes me almost as happy as rain.
6. Lastly, rain is one of my most used words on facebook. Who woulda though?
1. Mom, sister little, and I spent the whole day in our pjs, not showering, and watching Mad Men. There is something utterly mesmerizing about it. I mean, man, they smoke and drink hard liquor like it's going out of style, but the way they dress, the way they live...everything seems so glamorous and so broken all at once. Needless to say, it's almost 6 and I have just taken a shower.
2. I am obsessed with the Scene It game on facebook. Make a cute avatar, buy fake things, take movie trivia quizzes? Yes, please!
3. Next time I have a room I can paint, I think I'm going to paint it purple. Trust me. I had a vision last night. It will look divine.
4. I miss having my own house.
5. I like winter so much. I think it's a very under appreciated. But, there is this barren beauty to it. So, quiet and raw. I am in love with it. So, the fact that it is snowing outside and the sky is that winter snow grey...that just makes me almost as happy as rain.
6. Lastly, rain is one of my most used words on facebook. Who woulda though?
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Stuck.
It's Christmas Eve and instead of our usual tradition of snacks, pajamas, and presents, we are in a hotel room in Edmond, OK in the middle of a blizzard, closed highways, and a declared state of emergency. A few minutes ago, I was just about ready to whine about the ruined holidays.
But, truthfully, it's ok. Stuck or not stuck, it's Christmas Eve and maybe it's even a little appropriate. To have to go with a little less instead of a little more. To make do and spend good time together. To have true anticipation as Advent is about to arrive.
And even more truthfully, something feels honest about it in regards to where I am in life right now. A little stormy, a little less than ideal, but also good, if I let it be.
So, you know what. I'm going to let it be.
But, truthfully, it's ok. Stuck or not stuck, it's Christmas Eve and maybe it's even a little appropriate. To have to go with a little less instead of a little more. To make do and spend good time together. To have true anticipation as Advent is about to arrive.
And even more truthfully, something feels honest about it in regards to where I am in life right now. A little stormy, a little less than ideal, but also good, if I let it be.
So, you know what. I'm going to let it be.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Crafting
My inner craftress has been running rampant lately. I think in yarn, colors, and patterns. My fingers get an itch if it's been too long since they've been crafting. And did I mention I've developed a crotchet callous? Oh me oh my.
In other news, while the holiday season is bustling about outside, my own little world has a sort of quietness to it that I attribute to winter. A little sleepy, a little restful, and a little shut down, but in that hibernating sort of way.
The flip side of this, is that I have been, due to various situations, been experiencing some relational disconnection. Of course, though isolation often seems easiest, I have some solid, beautiful, cherished people in my life who shake me (figuratively and literally) by the shoulders and speak some sweet, loving truth into my life.
So, here it is. Winter is cold and sometimes a little lonely.
But, if you crochet enough and have some sweet people in your life, you can find ways to make yourself warm.
In other news, while the holiday season is bustling about outside, my own little world has a sort of quietness to it that I attribute to winter. A little sleepy, a little restful, and a little shut down, but in that hibernating sort of way.
The flip side of this, is that I have been, due to various situations, been experiencing some relational disconnection. Of course, though isolation often seems easiest, I have some solid, beautiful, cherished people in my life who shake me (figuratively and literally) by the shoulders and speak some sweet, loving truth into my life.
So, here it is. Winter is cold and sometimes a little lonely.
But, if you crochet enough and have some sweet people in your life, you can find ways to make yourself warm.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
This and That.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
A Season of Waiting and Expectation.
Today is the first Sunday of Advent which prepares us for the coming of Christ. It is filled with the tension of joy and hope that Jesus brings, but also is filled with the waiting and anticipation of it having not yet come.
This, I think is the Christian life. It has a surprising similarity to the Lent/Easter season, but truly I think it is representative of the Christian life. The hope and joy we have living in the tension of a not yet redeemed world. Sometimes, it's hard to know what to do with it.
But, I was struck with the importance of it this morning. I woke up from a dream where my little sister offered me pot (wtf?) and was feeling horribly sorry for myself and generally wallowy when suddenly the tension caught me off guard. This tension we live in is real. And we can fight it and wallow and distract, but ultimately we have to live in it regardless.
I find the tension beaufitul on days I'm not so busy striving for distraction or anxiety that we miss that it can be kinda beautiful.
Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability—and that it may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you.Your ideas mature gradually–let them grow,
Let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
That's all I got.
This, I think is the Christian life. It has a surprising similarity to the Lent/Easter season, but truly I think it is representative of the Christian life. The hope and joy we have living in the tension of a not yet redeemed world. Sometimes, it's hard to know what to do with it.
But, I was struck with the importance of it this morning. I woke up from a dream where my little sister offered me pot (wtf?) and was feeling horribly sorry for myself and generally wallowy when suddenly the tension caught me off guard. This tension we live in is real. And we can fight it and wallow and distract, but ultimately we have to live in it regardless.
I find the tension beaufitul on days I'm not so busy striving for distraction or anxiety that we miss that it can be kinda beautiful.
Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability—and that it may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you.Your ideas mature gradually–let them grow,
Let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
That's all I got.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Gratitude.
My heart feels so warm as I sit here, smelling our fried turkey and I think of the pecan pie that still needs to be made. I am so blessed in this sticky, odd, beautiful part of life.
I think of God and his unending faithfulness. Through my disobiedence, laughs in his face, as well as, fears, insecurities, and complete insanity. I would be lost without him.
I think of my family and how they still laugh at my jokes (no matter how random they are). They still love all of my little absurdities. They still hold my hand through the dark and cheer me on in the life.
I think of my friends and how they still wrap me in love from far away. Through phone calls, texts, mail, emails, blog comments, FB, and visits. They support my crazy antics, nervous breakdowns, completely lost moments. And when I forget myself, they are still there with a look in their eyes like, "Come on, Whit" and remind me of that too.
And when you have that, you don't need much more, but I have much more still. I have more books than I can count, tivo, sweet fall days, food in my belly, smiles on my lips, and despite the occasional panic attack, quite a lot of joy in my heart.
I hope your Thanksgiving is beautiful, warm, and you take a nice, long nap.
I think of God and his unending faithfulness. Through my disobiedence, laughs in his face, as well as, fears, insecurities, and complete insanity. I would be lost without him.
I think of my family and how they still laugh at my jokes (no matter how random they are). They still love all of my little absurdities. They still hold my hand through the dark and cheer me on in the life.
I think of my friends and how they still wrap me in love from far away. Through phone calls, texts, mail, emails, blog comments, FB, and visits. They support my crazy antics, nervous breakdowns, completely lost moments. And when I forget myself, they are still there with a look in their eyes like, "Come on, Whit" and remind me of that too.
And when you have that, you don't need much more, but I have much more still. I have more books than I can count, tivo, sweet fall days, food in my belly, smiles on my lips, and despite the occasional panic attack, quite a lot of joy in my heart.
I hope your Thanksgiving is beautiful, warm, and you take a nice, long nap.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Sadly Lacking.
I am sadly lacking some serious motivation to do any writing, and that's not good.
I have, thusly, employed creative skills in making little cloth flowers and crocheting scarves. I just finished and very large and very wide yellow scarf. 4 balls of yarn, kids.
Still, aside from crocheting, running errands, and going through some serious holiday missing my friends-ness, life is pretty mundane. I suppose it's all right. But, it doesn't make for interesting blogging.
At least we have The Hills/The City to look forward to, right?
I have, thusly, employed creative skills in making little cloth flowers and crocheting scarves. I just finished and very large and very wide yellow scarf. 4 balls of yarn, kids.
Still, aside from crocheting, running errands, and going through some serious holiday missing my friends-ness, life is pretty mundane. I suppose it's all right. But, it doesn't make for interesting blogging.
At least we have The Hills/The City to look forward to, right?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The Hills, 1st edition.
I have made an executive decision that I hope will rekindle my blogging. I am going to start giving you my weekly take on The City and The Hills. Because nothing can produce an onslaught of delicious word vomit like unreality-reality-tv shows. Here it goes.
Disclaimer: All views expressed in the following post are completely supported and of the writer of this blog and probably some other people too, at least until we change our minds. But, for now, we stand by all the ridiculous truth we say because we feel it is our duty, here at whawhawhitney to comment on the horrifying, wonderful, sad, beautiful, plastic world of Mtv unreality. Thank you for reading.
The Hills:
This week on The Hills, we have Kristen and Brody "just having fun" after their totally coincidentally timed break ups, Spencer realizing the complexities of surgeries, Audrina and Justin Bobby mumbling in the same mess, and that cute little Enzo kid ratting out Spencer for a (gasp) nother Speidi fight. Oh, and a Jayde and Kristen battle.
First, let's address Speidi because, quite frankly, I'd rather just be rid of them. First of all, all the money in the world apparently couldn't buy Spencer a simple lesson in human anatomy, but then again, I think we were all shocked to find out a vasectomy involved thinks like needles and scissors and rather tame cartoon pictures of the scrotum, so Spencer, being the brave man he is, runs out of that doctor's office faster than you can say, "I'll be on the surreal life in a few years." All that's probably well and good, since his friend Douchey McGee recommends not telling Heidi (way to look out for scum bag bros everywhere) which all goes fine and well until little Enzo (the one redeeming character in Speidi world) spills the beans...or nuts, as it were. A fight ensues, further proving both they shouldn't be married and they should be in front of cameras.
On a side note, this stint did burden me with a new cause. I'm officially starting a charity called FSP...or Faux-lebrities Shouldn't Procreate. At the top of our hit list? Spencer Pratt.
Then there was the Kristen/Brody love rekindled. Or at least, they had a lot of fun going on dates paid by Mtv. First, let me say I like Kristen. I have pretty much the whole way (save Laguna Beach season 1, but we weren't supposed to like her yet). I like that she's direct and has a little touch of bitch crazy in her. It makes both want to be her friend and watch the drama that follows in her life. Brody on this other hand, I'm not so convinced on him. I mean, the dude used to be BFF with Spencer Pratt...how reliable can he be? And he wears to many baseball hats with button up shirts, and if that's not a flaming dude bro alert, I don't know what is. Still, we watched them go to dinner and talk about Jayde and we watched them go to his mom's house (WOAH...no words there) and drink and talk about how cute they were and all in all it seems rather suspect to me. But, hey, if Mtv is footing my bill, I guess I'd hang out with a dude bro too. Boring filler!
Then there was the big fight! You could feeling it be prepped with cue cards every time Kristen spoke! And then it happened...and then 10 seconds later it was over. The biggest disappointment of the show. Mtv, please don't be cheap. If you're going to go to all the trouble of getting two people who will fight in the same room, could you buy them so more alcohol first? Jayde is crazy though. So, maybe she had pre-funked, but Brody diffused the situation entirely too quickly for someone who is that shady. I was hoping for a slap or a punch or something.
Audrina. Justin Bobby. Mumble, mumble. Illogical ramblings. Justin never making eye contact. Audrina crawling back for more punishment from a guy in combat boots and slicked back hair (ew) whose name makes him seem less rock and roll and more white trash. I know this show doesn't have writers [ ;) ] but maybe we could get a new story line there. Still, one of them is done. Finally forever. Yeah, we'll see.
So, here's the scoring for this weeks episode. On a scale of 1-10, unless otherwise applicable.
Clever editing: 8 (I had to use the rewind on tivo to see whose hands shot out first...don't worry, it was Jayde's).
Speidi's marriage believability: -56. (Seriously, how much is Mtv paying them to be married?)
Enzo's Cuteness: 10.
Level of Crazy Bitch: 7 (Jayde always ups it, but to be honest, I was just disappointed with the whole thing. Audrina's a disappointment to the crazy bitch in us all. Seriously, egg Justin Bobby's house or key his car or steal his combat boots).
Level of Douche Bag: 14 (Too much Spencer, Brody owns too many hats, and no matter what Douchey McGee's real name is, he needs a hair cut, shave, and vasectomy).
Overall Entertainment: 6 (After Audrina and Kristen's fight last week, this week was just lack luster).
Look for The City review in the next few days. Until then...
Adios, Bitches.
Disclaimer: All views expressed in the following post are completely supported and of the writer of this blog and probably some other people too, at least until we change our minds. But, for now, we stand by all the ridiculous truth we say because we feel it is our duty, here at whawhawhitney to comment on the horrifying, wonderful, sad, beautiful, plastic world of Mtv unreality. Thank you for reading.
The Hills:
This week on The Hills, we have Kristen and Brody "just having fun" after their totally coincidentally timed break ups, Spencer realizing the complexities of surgeries, Audrina and Justin Bobby mumbling in the same mess, and that cute little Enzo kid ratting out Spencer for a (gasp) nother Speidi fight. Oh, and a Jayde and Kristen battle.
First, let's address Speidi because, quite frankly, I'd rather just be rid of them. First of all, all the money in the world apparently couldn't buy Spencer a simple lesson in human anatomy, but then again, I think we were all shocked to find out a vasectomy involved thinks like needles and scissors and rather tame cartoon pictures of the scrotum, so Spencer, being the brave man he is, runs out of that doctor's office faster than you can say, "I'll be on the surreal life in a few years." All that's probably well and good, since his friend Douchey McGee recommends not telling Heidi (way to look out for scum bag bros everywhere) which all goes fine and well until little Enzo (the one redeeming character in Speidi world) spills the beans...or nuts, as it were. A fight ensues, further proving both they shouldn't be married and they should be in front of cameras.
On a side note, this stint did burden me with a new cause. I'm officially starting a charity called FSP...or Faux-lebrities Shouldn't Procreate. At the top of our hit list? Spencer Pratt.
Then there was the Kristen/Brody love rekindled. Or at least, they had a lot of fun going on dates paid by Mtv. First, let me say I like Kristen. I have pretty much the whole way (save Laguna Beach season 1, but we weren't supposed to like her yet). I like that she's direct and has a little touch of bitch crazy in her. It makes both want to be her friend and watch the drama that follows in her life. Brody on this other hand, I'm not so convinced on him. I mean, the dude used to be BFF with Spencer Pratt...how reliable can he be? And he wears to many baseball hats with button up shirts, and if that's not a flaming dude bro alert, I don't know what is. Still, we watched them go to dinner and talk about Jayde and we watched them go to his mom's house (WOAH...no words there) and drink and talk about how cute they were and all in all it seems rather suspect to me. But, hey, if Mtv is footing my bill, I guess I'd hang out with a dude bro too. Boring filler!
Then there was the big fight! You could feeling it be prepped with cue cards every time Kristen spoke! And then it happened...and then 10 seconds later it was over. The biggest disappointment of the show. Mtv, please don't be cheap. If you're going to go to all the trouble of getting two people who will fight in the same room, could you buy them so more alcohol first? Jayde is crazy though. So, maybe she had pre-funked, but Brody diffused the situation entirely too quickly for someone who is that shady. I was hoping for a slap or a punch or something.
Audrina. Justin Bobby. Mumble, mumble. Illogical ramblings. Justin never making eye contact. Audrina crawling back for more punishment from a guy in combat boots and slicked back hair (ew) whose name makes him seem less rock and roll and more white trash. I know this show doesn't have writers [ ;) ] but maybe we could get a new story line there. Still, one of them is done. Finally forever. Yeah, we'll see.
So, here's the scoring for this weeks episode. On a scale of 1-10, unless otherwise applicable.
Clever editing: 8 (I had to use the rewind on tivo to see whose hands shot out first...don't worry, it was Jayde's).
Speidi's marriage believability: -56. (Seriously, how much is Mtv paying them to be married?)
Enzo's Cuteness: 10.
Level of Crazy Bitch: 7 (Jayde always ups it, but to be honest, I was just disappointed with the whole thing. Audrina's a disappointment to the crazy bitch in us all. Seriously, egg Justin Bobby's house or key his car or steal his combat boots).
Level of Douche Bag: 14 (Too much Spencer, Brody owns too many hats, and no matter what Douchey McGee's real name is, he needs a hair cut, shave, and vasectomy).
Overall Entertainment: 6 (After Audrina and Kristen's fight last week, this week was just lack luster).
Look for The City review in the next few days. Until then...
Adios, Bitches.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Bag and Tag.
Not even close, really. I was tagged by Sarah to do this little survey, and I couldn't think of a title that had to do with being tagged that wasn't just so obvious. Ha.
Here are the rules:
Use only one word, pass along to six favorite bloggers, and tell 'em you did so.
1. Where is your cell phone? Bookshelf.
2. Your hair? Unwashedgreasefest.
5. Your favorite food? Chipotle.
6. Your dream last night? VampireOKChouseAshleyCliffDivingDoozy.
7. Your favorite drink? Water.
8. Your dream/goal? Live.
9. What room are you in? Living.
10. Your hobby? Writing.
11. Your fear? Many.
12. Where do you want to be in six years? GraduateSchool.
13. Where were you last night? Home.
14. Something that you aren't? Man.
15. Muffins? LemonPoppySeed.
16. Wish list item? Phonograph.
17. Where did you grow up? Ooooooolathe.
18. Last thing you did? Crochet.
19. What are you wearing? Nightie.
20. Your TV? Off.
21. Your pets? Nonexistent.
22. Friends? Love.
23. Your life? StrangeBeautiful.
24. Your mood? Sleepy.
25. Missing someone? Always.
26. Vehicle? Dead.
27. Something you're not wearing? Shoes.
28. Your favorite store? Target.
29. Your favorite color? Cobalt.
30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday.
31. Last time you cried? Night.
32. Your best friend? Heart.
33. One place that I could go over and over? Portland.
34. One person who emails you regularly? Fbook.
35. Favorite place to eat? Couch.
Here's who I tag. (Don't worry, I won't bag you).
Olivia: Even though she has currently made a disappearance from the blogging world, I think I can convince her to come back and fill this out. Besides, she's one of my dearest friends. And those are so important in these strange days.
Heather: My long time Internet friend who shares my heart in my favorite place.
LP: My sweet, high school friend who loves life and has an infectious laugh.
Nevan: My dear friend who is going to be leaving for the Peace Corps soon! I'm so excited for her and proud of her!
Jola: Sweet, beautiful Jola.
Alee: I have a dear spot deep in my heart for Alee. We also are really good and making up analogies for any aspect of life and taking long walks in the snow.
Happy Tuesday friends!
Here are the rules:
Use only one word, pass along to six favorite bloggers, and tell 'em you did so.
1. Where is your cell phone? Bookshelf.
2. Your hair? Unwashedgreasefest.
5. Your favorite food? Chipotle.
6. Your dream last night? VampireOKChouseAshleyCliffDivingDoozy.
7. Your favorite drink? Water.
8. Your dream/goal? Live.
9. What room are you in? Living.
10. Your hobby? Writing.
11. Your fear? Many.
12. Where do you want to be in six years? GraduateSchool.
13. Where were you last night? Home.
14. Something that you aren't? Man.
15. Muffins? LemonPoppySeed.
16. Wish list item? Phonograph.
17. Where did you grow up? Ooooooolathe.
18. Last thing you did? Crochet.
19. What are you wearing? Nightie.
20. Your TV? Off.
21. Your pets? Nonexistent.
22. Friends? Love.
23. Your life? StrangeBeautiful.
24. Your mood? Sleepy.
25. Missing someone? Always.
26. Vehicle? Dead.
27. Something you're not wearing? Shoes.
28. Your favorite store? Target.
29. Your favorite color? Cobalt.
30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday.
31. Last time you cried? Night.
32. Your best friend? Heart.
33. One place that I could go over and over? Portland.
34. One person who emails you regularly? Fbook.
35. Favorite place to eat? Couch.
Here's who I tag. (Don't worry, I won't bag you).
Olivia: Even though she has currently made a disappearance from the blogging world, I think I can convince her to come back and fill this out. Besides, she's one of my dearest friends. And those are so important in these strange days.
Heather: My long time Internet friend who shares my heart in my favorite place.
LP: My sweet, high school friend who loves life and has an infectious laugh.
Nevan: My dear friend who is going to be leaving for the Peace Corps soon! I'm so excited for her and proud of her!
Jola: Sweet, beautiful Jola.
Alee: I have a dear spot deep in my heart for Alee. We also are really good and making up analogies for any aspect of life and taking long walks in the snow.
Happy Tuesday friends!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Trashy TV Goodness.
I just finished Bird by Bird by the lovely Anne Lamott and I find myself wrapped in her wisdom and beautiful and hilarious words. I feel the way you should feel when you finish a good book. Warm, peaceful, and a little sad.
In other news, I have a new, secret addiction. Gossip Girl. I first watched it over a week ago when I was having a "I just want to be alone" sort of Friday night. So, I got some Chinese food and some white wine, and popped in disc one.
To say, I was hooked would be incorrect. I was annoyed by Serena's constant whimpering and whining. And she seemed to be the focus. Yet, I couldn't get it out of my head. So, a couple of days later I got disc 2.
BOOM.
Then, I was hooked. But, I still find Serena annoying as hell. And the characters which became my favorites, well, I think they're the misunderstood ones. Blair? Love her in all her bitchy Queen B goodness. Chuck Bass? I mean, the guy's catch phrase is "I'm Chuck Bass." Which is totally narcissistic and genius. I like season 2 Nate. Dan is all right when he's not oogling over Serena. And everyone else is mostly boring. Eh.
Seriously, though. Does anyone else watch this trashy tv goodness?
In other news, I have a new, secret addiction. Gossip Girl. I first watched it over a week ago when I was having a "I just want to be alone" sort of Friday night. So, I got some Chinese food and some white wine, and popped in disc one.
To say, I was hooked would be incorrect. I was annoyed by Serena's constant whimpering and whining. And she seemed to be the focus. Yet, I couldn't get it out of my head. So, a couple of days later I got disc 2.
BOOM.
Then, I was hooked. But, I still find Serena annoying as hell. And the characters which became my favorites, well, I think they're the misunderstood ones. Blair? Love her in all her bitchy Queen B goodness. Chuck Bass? I mean, the guy's catch phrase is "I'm Chuck Bass." Which is totally narcissistic and genius. I like season 2 Nate. Dan is all right when he's not oogling over Serena. And everyone else is mostly boring. Eh.
Seriously, though. Does anyone else watch this trashy tv goodness?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I'm a G(l)eek.
This is why I love Glee, and I think I'm in love with Matthew Morrison.
Need more proof, you say...
Believe me now?
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