Lately

Upon graduating, I felt a myriad of emotions ranging from incredibly empowered to incredibly terrified. It's all a part of it, I kept telling myself.

Since then, the incredibly empowered and incredibly terrified continually switch places leaving me, on good days, a little frazzled, but still peaceful, and on bad days, feeling absolutely bonkers, desparately clinging onto the knowledge that I will be ok, by the grace of God.

And I guess, if I'm honest, that's all I need. I don't much like feeling bonkers and desparate, but I'll take it because never have I felt so...whole and free. This feeling is just not what I thought it would be.

I don't know what I thought it would feel like. I don't know exactly what I thought was happening all this time. I just know that at this new place I'm all right. I still struggle, fight, mess up ridiculously, but I'm all right.

And that's worth all the tears.