I have spent the past few weeks immersed with family. This has been lovely and whole for me. But, sometimes I'm just ready for a moment or two of quiet. Of thoughtfulness and daydreaming all to myself.
And so I have begun to stay up late. I like the quiet that nighttime provides. It's like mornings, but with a touch of sadness. This is sometimes good for the heart, sometimes bad for the mind, but either way, it's the way of life right now.
My life is more like a whisper right now. It's been a roar, a murmur, silent, well-modulated, and many things in between. But, right now, it's just a whisper. Sometimes, I worry my friends won't understand. I don't call much because I don't have much to say, and hardly ever talk to just hear my own voice anymore. When they call, I listen, but I have some sort of psychological amnesia when it comes my turn to speak. I hope they know how much I love them. How much I miss them. And how this isn't radio silence, just some quiet static. I'll find some louder words soon.
I'm not ready for Spring, not really. I love the warm sun on my skin, but my eyes are still squinting, and my heart too. Fortunately and unfortunately, Spring comes without concern of anyone's readiness.
I will try to be better.
I will welcome Spring.
I will whisper for a while longer.
3 comments:
Oh your beautiful posts. Your beautiful words. Your beautiful heart. I can feel, hear, and see all of you when you write. It makes me happy.
My favorite part? "(Nighttime) is like mornings, but with a touch of sadness." Nailed it. I stay up late so many nights, mostly for the quiet. For the reflection. And to be lazy and alone.
I miss you.
hey friend.
I may be in kansas soon. Is that getting closer to you?
I think I'm gonna have a free free summer. Want to hang out someday?
Talked to LP today and it made me smile with fond memories of days of old. Oh we were younger once...
loves.
alee
Your friends WILL understand... and if they do not, I do. I do very much my dear :)
And oh how I LOVE your description of your heart as compared to a radio. I really could get lost in your writing Whit. You're such a brilliant young heart :) love you.
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