It has been over a month since I last updated. I can hardly keep up. New job, back to OKC, transitions at work, life feels a little more than a little overwhelming.
The other day I wrote a fake love letter. It was to help somebody with some project, that is irrelevant. But, it stirred something inside of me. A passion. A creative force. An ache in my finger tips for a pen. Memories of days when I could spend all sorts of time writing and daydreaming. I don't want to say those days are over, but life sure does change.
I feel, despite the weariness in my shoulders, extraordinairly blessed. To have employment and a city that feels like home. To have friends who love me so generously through all the odd times in my life. That is something to remember when I start to feel achy and homeless. I am full of home. I am just a little derooted right now.
But, even that is not true. Shaken, yes, the last year...the last two years were hardly what I expected. They definitely were not what I thought I wanted. But, slowly I am learning how expectations are too often unmet and what we think we want is laughable. And even more slowly I am learning that is not a bad thing.
My life is fast-paced.
My heart is not.
2 comments:
Your blog reads like a good book... one that makes you feel warm on the inside. I love reading it. On that note, you should write a book.
And I loved this part, "I am full of home, just a little derooted right now." I can really relate to that :)
I've missed you, busy bee!
That sounds SO overwhelming.
I miss the days of painting and daydreaming. They seem like a distant memory, now. Sometimes I think I dreamt it. Life is funny.
My favorite? "Expectations are too often unmet and what we think we want is laughable." It isn't a bad thing! And this is brilliant, love.
I want to hear about the jobby soon. I shall call.
I miss you & love you.
♥ Bear
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